Christian inspiration

Love doesn’t hurt

Domestic Violence Myths and Facts:

Myth: Domestic violence is not a common occurrence.

Fact: A national study found that 29% of women and 22% of men had experienced physical, sexual, or psychological intimate partner violence during their lifetime. In the United States every year, about 1.5 million women and more than 800,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner. This translates into about 47 intimate partner assaults per 1,000 women and 32 assaults per 1,000 men.

Myth: Men are not victims of domestic violence.

Fact: Males are victims of domestic violence almost as often as females. Studies have shown that for every 47 women who are abused, there are at least 32 men who are abused. Male victims are not rare, nor are they more “effeminate” than average.

Myth: Children who are raised in an abusive household, but are not abused themselves, are not affected by the abuse.

Fact: The psychological impact of being raised in an abusive household can be profound. Many children develop cognitive and psychological problems after having experienced abuse second-hand. Eating disorders, sleeping disorders, depression, aggressive behavior, destructive rages, stuttering, shaking, and declined problem-solving skills are all symptoms of such abuse. Males and females who see their parents physically attack each other are three times more likely to hit their own partners than those who have non-violent parents. The sons of the most violent parents have a rate of wife-beating 10 times greater than the sons of non-violent parents.

TFTD: Love doesn’t hurt

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

 

A common misconception in an abusive relationship is that the abuser “loves” the victim. Statements like, “I hit you because I love you”, or “You know I love you” (after a verbal or physical eruption), “I’ve never loved anyone this much before”, etc. Some abusers believe they love their significant other, some use the phrase as a form of control, and sadly the victims believe they are loved. I am here to let someone know loves doesn’t hurt-people do.

The Word of God tells us that love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is NOT EASILY ANGERED, keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, IT ALWAYS protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. The abuser does the total opposite of this. God did not create you to be an emotional, spiritual, mental or physical punching bag. It’s time to stop making excuses for the abuser. He/She doesn’t love you when they hit you or curse at you. It is not your responsibility to “help” them work through the skeletons in their closet by being their punching bag (mentally or emotionally).

You deserve to be loved with the love of Christ. I don’t know who this is for, but God wants to consume you with His love. He wants to bless you daily with His love. He loves you so much that He gave His only Son for you (John 3:16). It is better to be alone than to be a prisoner to someone who doesn’t love you. The abuser may care for you, but they don’t love you. When you love someone you will act in a manner that lines up with the love Christ has for you.

Remember love doesn’t hurt! Have a blessed day!

Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

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