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Archive for October, 2014

Wear Purple-Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM 10-24-14

Domestic Violence Facts:

  • Nearly 2.2 million people called local and national domestic violence hotlines in 2004.
  • More than 1.35 million people accessed domestic violence victim services in 2005.
  • Over $5.8 billion each year is spent on health-related costs of domestic violence.
  • 74% of Americans personally know someone who is or has been abused.

Wear purple today, get a ribbon, put on a blouse or dress shirt, put on a t-shirt, wear a headband, or even “PURPLE LIPSTICK”. Paint the town PURPLE today and help raise awareness for Domestic Violence Awareness Month!

This is a topic we shouldn’t run from, but we should all learn more about it and how we can help.

Here is a National Domestic Violence Hotline: or call 1-800-799-SAFE

Don’t ignore the warning signs, don’t judge or criticize those who are in an abusive situation and more importantly don’t remain silent! Someone needs your help!


Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

Consider making a contribution to a life changing project. Click link to donate:

Love doesn’t hurt

Domestic Violence Myths and Facts:

Myth: Domestic violence is not a common occurrence.

Fact: A national study found that 29% of women and 22% of men had experienced physical, sexual, or psychological intimate partner violence during their lifetime. In the United States every year, about 1.5 million women and more than 800,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner. This translates into about 47 intimate partner assaults per 1,000 women and 32 assaults per 1,000 men.

Myth: Men are not victims of domestic violence.

Fact: Males are victims of domestic violence almost as often as females. Studies have shown that for every 47 women who are abused, there are at least 32 men who are abused. Male victims are not rare, nor are they more “effeminate” than average.

Myth: Children who are raised in an abusive household, but are not abused themselves, are not affected by the abuse.

Fact: The psychological impact of being raised in an abusive household can be profound. Many children develop cognitive and psychological problems after having experienced abuse second-hand. Eating disorders, sleeping disorders, depression, aggressive behavior, destructive rages, stuttering, shaking, and declined problem-solving skills are all symptoms of such abuse. Males and females who see their parents physically attack each other are three times more likely to hit their own partners than those who have non-violent parents. The sons of the most violent parents have a rate of wife-beating 10 times greater than the sons of non-violent parents.

TFTD: Love doesn’t hurt

1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


A common misconception in an abusive relationship is that the abuser “loves” the victim. Statements like, “I hit you because I love you”, or “You know I love you” (after a verbal or physical eruption), “I’ve never loved anyone this much before”, etc. Some abusers believe they love their significant other, some use the phrase as a form of control, and sadly the victims believe they are loved. I am here to let someone know loves doesn’t hurt-people do.

The Word of God tells us that love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is NOT EASILY ANGERED, keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, IT ALWAYS protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. The abuser does the total opposite of this. God did not create you to be an emotional, spiritual, mental or physical punching bag. It’s time to stop making excuses for the abuser. He/She doesn’t love you when they hit you or curse at you. It is not your responsibility to “help” them work through the skeletons in their closet by being their punching bag (mentally or emotionally).

You deserve to be loved with the love of Christ. I don’t know who this is for, but God wants to consume you with His love. He wants to bless you daily with His love. He loves you so much that He gave His only Son for you (John 3:16). It is better to be alone than to be a prisoner to someone who doesn’t love you. The abuser may care for you, but they don’t love you. When you love someone you will act in a manner that lines up with the love Christ has for you.

Remember love doesn’t hurt! Have a blessed day!

Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

Consider making a contribution to a life changing project. Click link to donate:

Beyond the surface

Poetry Corner

Domestic Violence Facts:

  1.  85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  2. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women – more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  3. 1/2 of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are fleeing from domestic violence.


Beyond the surface

by: Nicole L. Ellis, MBA

I look in mirror and I never see

Visible marks staring back at me

He claims he doesn’t hurt me

And the truth is I don’t even see the scars

But the hurt I am experiencing makes me feel like I’ve been beaten with a metal bar

They hear how he degrades me and how I cry myself to sleep

Yet they tell me how great he is and the love for him I should keep

I stand in a sea of witnesses feeling hopeless and drowning in shame

When I stand in public I pray that someone sees me frowning and calls out my name

Call me and help me that is all I ask

I don’t know how much longer my will to live will last

Beyond the surface are bruises that penetrate to the bone

My heart has experienced excruciating pain and I feel all alone

The absence of physical abuse doesn’t mean I’m not hurting

Power and control of my emotions is what moves around lurking

Seeking to destroy my self-esteem and pride

Emotional abuse causes damage

Unfortunately you can’t see what’s on the inside


~Emotional abuse- is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.

Most women experience emotional abuse than physical abuse. Don’t diminish someone’s experience just because you don’t see physical scars. Men, women and children can experience abuse and never report it because society has convinced them that it’s not abuse unless you were hit. Educate yourself so you can help someone else or even yourself.

God bless!


Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

Consider making a contribution to a life changing project. Click link to donate:

Domestic Violence-KNOW MORE

Sunshine’s Reflections


Domestic Violence Facts:

  • Among women brought to emergency rooms due to domestic violence, most were socially isolated and had fewer social and financial resources than other women not injured because of domestic violence.
  • Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
  • Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
  • Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.
  • Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.

James 1:19-21The Message (MSG)

19-21 Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow-up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

Anger and violence doesn’t come from God. We were not created to be violent against one another. No one should abuse another person emotionally, spiritually, physically or mentally. Instead of ignoring domestic violence we need to KNOW MORE about it. It’s time for people to learn the facts about it in order to find ways to help stand against it. Prayer is needed. Don’t ever turn your nose up at a victim. Just because you don’t understand why they stay in an abusive relationship doesn’t mean they deserve to be mistreated. Don’t ever curse someone by saying “If they don’t leave then they are getting what they deserve” or “They are crazy for staying” or any variation of arrogant comments. People don’t ask to be in abusive relationships. Abusive relationships don’t always mean someone is physically abusive. There are a lot of cases where a person is being abused everyday and never have been physically hit; however, they have been controlled mentally, socially, economically, etc.


Cycle of abuse: the cycle of abuse exist in all domestic violence cases, no matter if it’s physically violent or not. Some people stay in abusive relationships because they don’t have anywhere to go. Some people stay because they are ashamed to tell someone what they are going through for fear of judgement. Some people stay because all they know is their abuser because they have been isolated from their family or friends. Some people stay because they don’t know there is a way out. Do your churches talk about Domestic Violence, do your schools, your job, your family, your community leaders, etc.? Is there a culture dedicated to protecting the victims and/or survivors or a culture dedicated to judging them and isolating them more. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. Don’t sweep it under the rug. Every moment you remain quiet is a moment where another man, woman, boy or girl is trapped in the cycle of violence.

Find out if there are domestic violence resources in your area. Take a class, read up on information, become informed so that you can become equipped to make a difference. Know more and stop IGNORING the signs. There are people in your church, community, family or job who are  crying out for help and you may be the only source who can lead them to the appropriate resource.

I pray that you commit to learning more, pray more and help more. God bless!


Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

Consider making a contribution to a life changing project. Click link to donate:

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Facts:

  • 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
  • Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
  • Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
  • Domestic violence is most likely to occur between 6 pm and 6 am.
  • More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home.




by: Nicole L. Ellis

He hit me

He yelled

He cursed

He accused

He abused

He misused

He lied

He controlled

He did everything to break me

He stripped me of my pride

He pummeled my self-esteem

He walked on my heart

He discouraged my soul

But my child embraced me one evening

A hug that reignited the light within

Something shifted and I was determined to never let this happen again

I was ready to be set free

All because a child embraced me.


Advice: Don’t look at domestic violence victims in judgment or criticism. The cycle of abuse is real and you never know what emotional, mental, physical or spiritual hold the abuser may have on the abused. Don’t turn your nose up at a victim (male or female, young or old). Don’t seek to understand, seek to break the SILENCE!!! If you hear something or see something, please report it. Don’t shake your head and walk away. Don’t tweet it or post it on Facebook in disgust. Educate yourself and help someone. You can save someone’s life!


Mrs. Nicole “Sunshine” Ellis, MBA

Can’t breathe: Try Spiritual CPR: Consistent in praying, Persistent in pursuing the knowledge of God, and Resistant to temptation.

Consider making a contribution to a life changing project. Click link to donate: